For the first time I am letting this out
FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM LETTING THIS OUT
As much over as I think I am, there’s still one thing about coping up that I seem to have overlooked- verbalizing all the pain. Life moved on and so did we. However, I think it is time for me to speak up and throw away all emotional baggage that there is, have been left, and probably stuck somewhere deep down inside that’s clogging and cluttering me up turning me into an emotional slut.
So this is me making up for my incapability of verbalizing everything that I should have said. This is me stopping to make excuses in your defense. And this is me acknowledging all the pain that you have caused me. And for the first time, in a very long time, this will be about me not you.
I was hurt, you jerk. You should have told me the real reason on why things have to end. You should’ve come clean instead of making up excuses that I was such a fool to believe.You don’t need to tell me that you still want to be alone, not ready for commitment and then see you not even 2 months after, with someone new. Not that I still care or have anything against them or you, but you should have at least spared me some decency.
Not because you owe me, but because you respect me.
And yeah that goes the same thing for breaking up through text. You’re not a bad guy. Avoiding is what makes you one. And I quote Carrie Bradshaw for this, ” I just want an ending to an relationship that is thoughtful and decent and honours what we had together. So my point is this; There is a good way to break-up with someone, and it doesn’t include a post-it.” And in your case, a text message.
We both know that I deserve better, you said that yourself. So I’m not surprised that every time we meet it’s awkward. That even up to this day I make you feel awkward. Actually I’m glad that you feel that way because every time you see me, you see a reflection of your guilt.
I am a reflection of your guilt & that doesn’t bother me at all. in fact, I’m quite happy about it. It gives me that sick pleasure knowing that I’m getting my revenge in terms of a lifetime. Hey, our love might have not lasted forever, you may perhaps got something from me but what I hold compared to yours is priceless. Feelings come and go. They can deifnitely change over time,
but definitely not your guilt.
There I said it. For the first time I did. This will be the first time and last that I’ll be talking about it. So now, this is me freeing myself and this is me over, said, and done. :) Go do whatever it is about this, splice it up, relate, reflect, quote me or whatever.
I’m done.